Week 3 Post-Trial

[xxxx_me]

[It's hard to feel much cheer after finding out the culprit. Everyone's welcome to do whatever brings them peace after such a tense time, whether it's jotting down memories before the next loss or finding other things to occupy themselves with.]

Comments

[scratchitti]

Yeah, of course. I'll wait for you there. Take all the time you need- not like I have anything better to do.

[xxxx_me]

[He gives a tiny nod.]

Thanks, Neku.

[scratchitti]

No problem.

[he heads out, chilling by the fire pit as long as it takes- he wasn't lying, he has nothing better to be doing.]

[xxxx_me]

[Allen shows up a bit late, using the skirt to help him carry both the axes - the heads pointed up in the fabric with the handles sticking out.]

S-sorry, it was harder to carry than I thought.

[scratchitti]

[He jogs over to help the last few feet]

Don't worry about it. I got some kindling ready to go.

[xxxx_me]

[Gratefully handing the thing over to Neku. Shockingly it's kind of hard to haul two sharp metal things up a floor and across a carnival without cutting yourself.]

Thank you...

[scratchitti]

Don't act like I'm not going to enjoy a little destruction for my own sake.

[He tries to smile but it's really thin]

The metal stuff probably won't melt but we can bury whatever's left in the pit and unless someone is watching I doubt they'd look.

[xxxx_me]

[Nodding.]

Yeah, I think that'll work.

[...]

Do you... usually destroy things to make yourself feel better?

[Like. It seems like he's used to this?]

[scratchitti]

[His eyes widen a little, and he looks at the pit]

Not usually so literally. And... not as much as I used to.

[xxxx_me]

[He just kind of tilts his head questioningly. Gonna elaborate at all?]

[scratchitti]

I would... be mean to people on purpose when I felt bad, sometimes.

[So less property destruction, but still destruction of a sort]

[xxxx_me]

Oh.

[Not entirely expected, but after a moment of thought:]

You're different now, though?

[scratchitti]

A little, yeah. You remember when he met the first day, what my portrait said? That really was what I was like.

[xxxx_me]

[Pausing to remember...]

"I don't give a rat's ass if you think I'm rude?"

[Allen no!!!]

[scratchitti]

[He snorts]

Welp, guess there's no point censoring myself now.

[you think he's gonna tell him not to cuss? Hell no]

But yeah, that. I was a huge asshole.

[xxxx_me]

What changed?

[scratchitti]

... I had to trust people to survive. Kinda like here- and once I was forced to be around people I started to... you know, see them again. See that I wasn't the only person that mattered. It was rough. I almost didn't manage it and... Alice has taken some of it. But I remember enough for now.

...

If I start acting like a jerk suddenly- uhm... don't hate me too much for it. I won't be able to help it. If she takes all of that away from me.

[xxxx_me]

[Oh. Yeah, he can see how that would be a problem.]

Have you been writing...?

[scratchitti]

[he nods]

But it's not really the same- I... feel like I'm turning into a different person, you know?

[xxxx_me]

...Yeah. I'm trying to write reminders for myself, but...

I feel like I'm becoming hollow again.

[scratchitti]

[he nods]

At least.... she's not taking what we remember about here. So... maybe even if we lose a lot we won't be completely gone.

[He kneels to start the kindling finally, blowing of it carefully]

[xxxx_me]

[He just falls silent, watching Neku work sadly.]