Post-Trial I Afterparty

[cellpreservation]

[They're down two of their number, and who knows how many more will follow, but for tonight at least... They have a chance to rest.

The school has already been cleaned, leaving no signs of the deaths that occurred on this very day, but that's just as well. After looking around to make sure of that much, Yuta marches into the kitchen and, after a bit of looking around, ends up gathering some snacks: boxed crackers and apple slices that aren't perfectly even in cut but look, he's not the chef of his group, he did his best. These he sets out on some plates in the cafeteria before finding his usual seat to lounge in, eating some apple slices off of a smaller plate he grabbed just for himself.

And then, he waits - to see who trickles in, and who doesn't.

Where is your character in the aftermath?]

Comments

[copycut]

[ Evidently, this is enough to satisfy whatever instinct has been gnawing at Kuro's thoughts. She rolls her shoulders in a slight, relaxed movement, and then she snatches up an apple slice to nibble on herself. She would be lying if she claimed she wasn't hungry herself, after all. ]

I guess you're the kind of person who doesn't normally eat sweets very often, huh? [ Kuro interprets the comment as the first of those—or, at least, she acts like that's the case. ] Let me guess: Doing that would be gluttonous, right?

[holyironmade]

I... would... rather not confirm or deny that.

[Huh, seems like Kuro hit some kind of jackpot there as Jeanne nervously pouts. What reason does she have to not confirm something so plausible? She even tries to quickly turn the question around.]

Does that mean you eat them whenever you want? How enviable. [...objectively! Not Jeanne herself admitting to anything!] Much is possible through the power of exercise.

[copycut]

[ With the expression that overcomes Jeanne's face, Kuro giggles fondly. She really is an easy read, like she doesn't have any defenses at all— ]

Wel~l... Maybe not whenever I want. Sella-san is really strict, sometimes. Still, [ she chirps, crunching off another bite of the apple as she does, ] I don't think there's anything sinful about letting yourself indulge from time-to-time. What's the point of carrying on if you're not going to enjoy it?

[holyironmade]

[She will eat a second slice of apple. This one has the cinnamon. She looks quizzical as her fingertips are a little dusty and she tries to discreetly transfer it back onto the apple.]

The last thing I remember before coming here is actually... A mission where I was required to travel some distance without the iron maiden. It was truly refreshing... [Her eyes are envisioning it again. Letting herself feel that feeling, that relief. Being strong here had let her deny needing it.] The seaside air, the fast car. But now... It is like running a race. Is the loser relieved to stop running? Is the winner less sore in his muscles when he receives a trophy?

[copycut]

[ Kuro listens, in a way that is unusually quiet and respectful for her. She says nothing when she sees the distant look in Jeanne's eyes—just licks a little smear of cream cheese off her own fingers, as well. ]

A lot of athletes like that soreness. For them, it's the feeling of pushing their limits—of being alive in the first place. [ ... ] Is that the way it is, for you?

[holyironmade]

...

[It seems like if she sincerely said yes in this moment, then she would be left alone forever. Maybe not by the others, but be able to completely ignore what anyone said.]

......

[She just has... to say it. Will she say it...? It hurts so much to not be able to help anyone, so it should be easy to say the opposite, right...? This is what she says in the end.]

I do not know exactly what that feels like. I have not experienced many things. I admit that.

[copycut]

[ It's an adequate answer. An honest answer. So, there's no reason for Kuro's brow to pinch in dissatisfaction the way it does. As if, if Jeanne had just agreed, Kuro would have been able to let her make her own choice with no regrets—

She doesn't looks at her as she pinches another apple slice between her fingers. ]

If you've never known what it's like to feel alive, what's the difference between you and a walking corpse?

[holyironmade]

Does there have to be one?

[This seems to steady her more. To take the temptation away. Unironically strike her as neutral and even cheer her up.]

Be they ghosts, forces of nature, or gods... Is there not purpose and beauty and nobility in spirits even without happiness?

[copycut]

Mm, there does. You're a human who wants to take humanity's suffering onto herself, remember?

[ One of her hands squeezes tight, until she can feel her nails digging into her palm. ]

How can you do that, when you don't even understand the feelings you're trying to protect?

[holyironmade]

Understand? ......to be tempted in every way as they are, yet be without sin?

[It takes a moment too long, because she knows that the bible verse is a cheap answer. Penny for your thoughts and that's zero cents as more of a memory than an idea. To want to live... to want to dance and sing and not do it... has she just been using a crutch to not feel those feelings...?]

It is... a whole different level of torture that I must aspire to reach. I see. It makes someone very strong.

[copycut]

To save humanity, you have to understand all the feelings humans possess.

[ The truth is, she doesn't want to tell Jeanne this. She doesn't want to make her path any more difficult to traverse than it already stands. But, as her rival, Kuro has a duty to respect the road Jeanne has chosen—and as a friend, she has an obligation to speak up when that road is misguided. ]

That's why... So long as you're here, you should aspire to be a normal girl.

[holyironmade]

So... So then what shall your challenge be? Is it to show how much more normal you can be than myself? Or the strength of the unfettered?

[Because if Kuro is the only one watching her and not the other way around... If this is just how someone who unconditionally wants the best for her really acts... What would that mean for Jeanne's life up until now? She must have a reason, a goal, a sin to condemn.]

Perhaps... You will show me that you are the one confident enough in your ways to be special?

[copycut]

Isn't it obvious? I'll show you the strength of a human's selfish drive to live!

[ Kuro brightens up. She tosses her hair from her shoulder, and plants her hands on her hips. Maybe it's bravado, but— ]

You already know, don't you? I'll never be able to agree with your wish. That's why, if you want to suffer for the world's sins, I have to live for my own happiness.

[holyironmade]

So the survivor is the winner. How cliche. Yet that is the way of the world, the humans who have survived through all the threats to their fitness until now.

[But it is a good thing that her hair has not lost its ribbonless bounce even after the long, draining day.]

If your selfishness turns into a crime, I must punish you. And if my suffering turns into weakness, then you will laugh in my face.

[copycut]

It's a deal, then.

[ Kuro offers her hand forward—the same as Jeanne had, when she had asked Kuro to become her friendly rival. ]

[holyironmade]

Decided.

[Handshake!]

It seems the service has lasted long enough. Shall I see you again soon?